More on War

The lust for battle can get you into trouble. It is easy to laugh at Major Powers when he says, "This is it. We're going to war."

Fr. Roberts once told us the story of the time he decided to work on humility, even though he "didn't really need to". He prayed for humiliations, and got enough of them that he hasn't prayed for them since. They don't stop coming (and sometimes I wonder if I'm catching the overflow, but that's another story...).

I'm not a warrior. The Saints were warriors. I fight because I don't know what else to do. Perhaps that is what it is about. Spiritual warfare is like the Sheewash Drive... "Takes it out of you."

We went down to 86th and Georgetown tonight. I was in the thick of things, and yet apart. The sun was setting behind the Planned Parenthood, and we stood watching it go down. A peaceful fall sunset, the air cool and the breeze gentle, the place was not open. People honked as they passed, some approving, some mocking, a few yelled from their cars. "You're not making a difference," and, "You're insane." Maybe we are insane. In the quiet there was no battle cry, but we stood and struggled, because we had no choice. We fought for breath. We fought in silence. And yet the violence that raged drained the inside of me. Persevere in prayer. Finish the race.

Take care. If you ask for discernment to know evil, if you ask for strength to fight, God just might give it to you. He will give you the grace you need, but sometimes... sometimes it hurts... sometimes it takes everything out of you, and leaves you with nothing to do but whisper, "Help." And then, in your weakness and emptiness, He does...